Self-Help Articles for Stress, Depression, Anxiety, Anger, Counseling, CBT and REBT. Info on herbs and herbal natural remedies, therapy worksheets. > How to Avoid Getting UPSET

Upset feelings, including anger, anxiety, stress, and depression, are usually caused by the way we are thinking about what is happening, not the events themselves. To change your feelings (and your behavior), try the following exchange vocabulary.

When you first try this new way of thinking, it might not feel right. The more you do it, however, the more natural these realistic beliefs will become.
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Are There Variations of CBT? What is REBT?

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Listen to Your Self-Talk to Overcome Your Anger
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Recommended CBT & REBT Self-Help Books

Give it a fair try though.  Practice, practice, practice.  Listen in to your self-talk.

Instead of thinking: Try thinking:

must---------            prefer

should ------            it is desirable

have to------            choose to

need --------            want

can't --------            choose not to

ought-------             had better

never -------            rarely

all -----------             many

always------             often

can't stand---          don't like

awful----------           highly undesirable

bad person ---         bad behavior

I am a failure---        I failed at

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St. John's Wort for Depression

What is Therapy? How Does it Work?
Relaxation/Breathing Techniques
Natural Supplements for Stress Relief
Free Newsletter: Stress Tips & More!

Here are some examples:

I have to do well.            I want to do well.

You shouldn't do that.   I prefer you not do that.

You never help me.       You rarely help me.

I can t stand my job.      I don t like my job.

You are a bad boy.       That behavior is undesirable.

I m a loser.                    I failed at this one task.

I need love.                   I want love, but don t need it.

From the SMART Recovery Members' Manual
Section III, Problem Solving
By: Robert F. Sarmiento, Ph.D.

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