When you don't accept yourself, you become oversensitive to rejection.
When you don't accept yourself, you lose faith every time you trip over an old weakness.
When you don't accept yourself, you waste time looking for love to make you complete.
When you don't accept yourself, you try to beat others rather than seeking your best.
When you don't accept yourself, you overvalue material things.
When you don't accept yourself, you live in the past.
Acceptance is not a hopeless position, it's the only position from which you can grow.
If you accept all of your life, none of it will have been wasted.
When you don't accept yourself, you dread what each day may reveal about you.
When you don't accept yourself, the truth becomes your enemy.
When you don't accept yourself, you have no place to hide.
Accepting yourself is everything.
If you accept yourself, you can accept the world.
"I accept all of the parts of who I am. What I cannot accept, I forgive." David Viscott, Finding Your Strength in Difficult Times
The statements above are absolutely true. An essential part of moving on to a better life is for us to accept ourselves as we are, where we are. Then, we are ready to move from there.
A valuable exercise encouraged by Dr. Nathaniel Branden, author of The Psychology of Self Esteem, is the following: Look in a mirror; look at your face carefully - seeing the things in that face that you don't like, as well as the things that you do. Many people see weakness or anger which they try to ignore. Don't. It is important to accept all parts of yourself. And, while looking yourself in the eye, say several times, "No matter what my faults or shortcomings I accept myself fully and completely. Initially this is very difficult for most people to do, but if you do it until it feels OK, you will have attained a greater degree of self acceptance which will work to your benefit.
You may prefer David Viscott's "I accept all the parts of who I am. What I cannot accept, I forgive." It is not quite as powerful, but it does bring up an important point - forgiveness is also essential. Forgiving ourselves and forgiving others is essential to moving on. We are human beings, and human beings often do things that are dumb or even malicious. We don't need to condone such things but we can't move on from them unless we forgive them.
Take a little time to look over your past mistakes and maliciousnesses. Forgive yourself; we all have done the wrong thing at some time, but we shouldn't be held accountable forever. Take time to look at your grievances with others: parents, siblings, friends, etc. Forgive them. They may have had a negative impact on your life in the past, but to continue to blame them only keeps you from moving on to make a better life for yourself.
---------------------------------------------------------------- From the SMART Recovery Members' Manual, section III, problem solving; www.smartrecovery.org ----------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright 2004-2005---StressGroup USA Worldwide Rights Reserved. All content on this site is solely for informational purposes and is not medical or psychological counseling. See Terms of Use for further information.
WARNING: Self-help may be useful, but should not be considered a substitute for professional help. Emotional and behavioral disturbances may be debilitating and dangerous. You should not hesitate to seek professional help: if you have thoughts of killing yourself or harming others; if you feel depressed, anxious, guilty or down on yourself frequently, suffer from anxeity; if you are abusing substances; if your performance or interpersonal relationships are seriously impaired. Copyright 2004-2008---StressGroup, Tampa Florida, USA-- Worldwide Rights Reserved. The self-help information on this web site is for purposes of information and education, not psychotherapy or counseling. See Terms of Use for important information pertaining to the use of all materials on this website.
