Recognizing and Resisting Urges
By: Robert Sarmiento, Ph.D.


One of the key skills in overcoming compulsive habits like
substance abuse, smoking, gambling, overeating and so on is to
recognize and resist urges. We often have distorted, unrealistic
beliefs about urges. Some common misperceptions about urges, and
their rational counterpoint are:

- Unrealistic Belief:
Urges are excruciating or unbearable

+ Realistic Alternative:
They are uncomfortable, but not unbearable.
Urges are time limited - they will pass.


- Unrealistic Belief:
Urges force one to use or act in certain ways.

+ Realistic Alternative:
You choose to act on the urge. There are many
urges you do not act on and you can resist any
urge.


- Unrealistic Belief:
I ll go crazy if I don t give in.

+ Realistic Alternative:
You haven't yet and won't. Actually, you will be
much more emotionally healthy by learning to
recognize and resist urges to use!


If you have been using heavily, you may experience strong urges
the first few days or even weeks after quitting. They may even
grow stronger for a while or flare up from time to time. However,
they will eventually weaken and fade away, but not necessarily go
away altogether. How long it takes varies, of course, but most
people find that their urges are not so bothersome within a few
months to a year of quitting.

Obviously, it is crucial to learn how to recognize and resist
your urges to use. To help you become more aware of your urges
and develop specific strategies for resisting them, it is useful
to keep a log or record of your urges. Whenever you feel the urge
to engage in your compulsive habit, write down when it happened,
what was going on, what emotions you were experiencing, how
strong the urge was (on a one to ten scale), how long it lasted,
what thoughts were going through your mind when you had the urge
and how you reacted to the urge. Studying these records can help
you identify triggers or high risk situations. Triggers can be
events (something happens), certain times (for example, coming
home from work), certain places (home, a bar), or particular
emotions (anger, frustration, stress, depression, etc.). You will
probably also notice certain thought patterns associated with
your urges, such as "I need a drink".

Once you become more aware of your urges, you can develop methods
to battle them. Here are some specific methods to try:

* Just accepting the urge can help. It's okay to have urges --
everybody does. It's what you do with the urge that counts.

* Ignore the urge. Keep it at a distance, like a thought going in
one ear and out the other.

* Detach yourself from the urge. Think of the urge as "it" and
study it. What does it feel like?

* Rate the urge. How strong is it on a one to ten scale? Are
you exaggerating? Compare the discomfort of resisting the urge
to other possible discomforts, like being boiled alive in oil or
having your fingernails pulled out one at a time.

* Distract yourself. Do something. Go out. Call someone. Get
absorbed in a task. Exercise.

* Remind yourself of the benefits of resisting and the long-term
costs of giving in.

* Remember a moment of clarity when you realized your habit is
a problem.

* Try relaxing yourself by imagining a peaceful scene.

* Visualize yourself in the near future feeling good about having
resisted the urge.

* Paint a mental picture of how badly you will feel if you give
in, like a scene with you hugging the toilet bowl with the title,
"Drinking is Fun".

* Personify the urge by calling it the inner brat, the alcohol
salesman in your head, the "beast" (see Addictive Voice
Recognition Training in Jack Trimpey's, The Small Book).

* Remind yourself that the urge will pass.

* Think about other urges you have that you routinely resist.
How do you do that?

* Develop coping statements, thoughts that counter urge-causing
ideas. For example, if you are thinking "I deserve a drink", try
telling yourself, "Even though it is unfair that I have this
problem, drinking is not a wise choice for me."

After you begin to develop some mastery of your urges, you may
want to confront them rather than just waiting until they happen.

There are many ways to do this, for example:

* Try visualizing a situation in the past where you had a strong
urge, like running a videotape in your head. At first, allow
yourself to feel the urge and react as you did. Then run the
tape again and without changing anything, force yourself to see
yourself resisting the urge. Practice this repeatedly until you get a feel
for how you can do it. This is like "instant replay".

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